Arguing seems to be a normal part of adult relationships. Staying together in such a situation "is not good for the individual or the couple, and would create a negative environment in which to raise kids," she says. "If one person is very involved and close with family, the other should know and accept this dynamic for the relationship to deepen and thrive." On the flip side, "if one has a basic inclination to repel ... family, partnering with someone on the opposite side of the spectrum will create conflict, and is not sustainable." Be upfront from the very beginning about where you stand on the family continuum. "If one partner drinks and parties and is spontaneous and wild, and the other is sober, an introvert and a loner, it is a hard set of dynamics to merge," Goldsher says. Maintain the ability to fall in love over and over again through all your ups and downs together.If you live under a rock and have never seen this episode, I'm not sorry for the long overdue spoiler, and you're welcome for the comprehensive recap.According to Emmalee, people often mistakenly let their loyalty and history with another person cloud their judgment. Loyalty is a great quality, but it can be detrimental when it's your sole reasoning for staying in a relationship that makes you feel drained.Emmalee says the key piece of advice here is:Sometimes, people fight because they're bored.
Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley, and Northwestern University, found that couples who engage in rage-fueled fights are more likely to experience spikes in blood pressure … Others might prefer to be strictly monogamous. The Fight About Relationship Status. "It is important to have views that can coexist around money in order to establish a stable lifestyle and future," Goldsher says.As with the other seven fights, if you're with someone whose outlook on life and love is completely dissimilar from your own, it'll likely be an uphill battle from the start, and other options should be considered."If there is a lack of agreement" about what constitutes cheating, "there will be a lack of understanding on many boundary issues moving forward," Goldsher says. "It is a sensitive issue, and requires a lot of planning and adjusting and sometimes flexibility. "How you do it is critical.
"If there is name-calling, stonewalling, manipulation or general mistreatment that occurs during or after arguments on a regular basis, it is a serious symptom that should be carefully addressed," she says."Fighting about money is also fairly inevitable," Goldsher says. "If a couple continually fights about such an issue and canât find personal flexibility on these topics, it's best to seek out a relationship where these preferences are naturally aligned.""If one part of the couple believes the relationship is exclusive and on track for the long haul, while the other denies or minimizes the seriousness of the commitment, this is usually a recipe for strife," says Goldsher. "If that is not possible, the relationship is not sustainable," she says.
If you have a blow-out, then just simmer for a while … Try not to raise your voice. Even the best couples I know fight.