Blackadder Back & Forth The Black Adder, Episode 6 - The Black Seal It is St. Juniper's Day and the King strips Edmund of his title and duties in Edinburgh; fleeing the castle in rage, The Black Adder sets about creating the most fearsome band of Knights ever known in order to take the throne and rule the Kingdom. (aside, to Baldick) Mad as a bicycle!Edmund: (hanging up his end) I think the phrase rhymes with `clucking bell’.Baldrick: Well, it would do if we had any sugar, but, unfortunately, we ran out New Year’s Eve 1915, since when I’ve been using sugar substitute.Melchett: (back to Baldrick) Now then, soldier, do you love your country?Edmund: No — a totally different Mboto Gorge.Baldrick: (entering) Captain B!Darling: (from outside) ‘tention!Baldrick: Certainly don’t, sir.Melchett: And do you love your king?Edmund: It was a viciously sharp slice of mango, wasn’t it, sir…Edmund: Right, Baldrick, this is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan. (to Darling) Sugar, sir?George: Righto, sir, I’m glad you’re not barking anymore.Darling: Listen! Fine, clean limbed — even their acne had a strange nobility about it.Voice: On the signal, company will advance!Edmund: Poor woman — first casualty of the war.Edmund: Baldrick, do the honours.Haig: Good lord!
I joined up straight away, sir. Ready for the off, eh?Edmund: Think you can manage three *lumps*, Baldrick?George: Copped a packet at Galipoli with the Aussies — so had Drippy and Strangely Brown. Combining sharp wit … Surely you must have noticed something in the air…Edmund: Or ice cold in No Man’s Land in 15 seconds. This is perhaps the finest ever moment in British Comedy. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.Edmund: I’m afraid not, Lieutenant; I’m just off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers.Baldrick: Don’t worry, Lieutenant; I’ll come visit you.Voice: Company, one pace forward! (Later, Edmund wears underpants on his head with two pencils up his nose)George: Well, yes, of course, but I thought that was Private Baldrick.Baldrick: Well, I’m sure I could m–Baldrick: Still, I could add some milk this time — well, saliva…Edmund: This is a crisis. !Baldrick: My mother told me never to trust men with beards, sir.Edmund: ’92, sir — Mboto Gorge.Edmund: Yes, sir — shortly to become fine bodies of men.Edmund: Cup of coffee, Darling?Edmund: Here to join us for the last waltz?George: Oh no, sir — wouldn’t want to face a machine gun without this!Melchett: George! (leaves)George: Yes, it’s nearly morning…(inside, Baldrick spits, then returns with the mug)(later, the three are sitting around doing bugger-all)Melchett: Oh, sit sit sit sit… Can’t sleep either, eh?Darling: (nervous) Erm, yes — tired of folding the general’s pyjamas.Edmund: I’m sorry, I think I’ve got to get out of here!! Fire away, Baldrick.Edmund: Not with a bayonet through your neck, you couldn’t!Edmund: So every time I’ve drunk your coffee since, I have in fact been drinking hot mud…George: You know, I won’t half miss you chaps after the war.Edmund: No — we’ve noticed that.Baldrick: How did you guess, sir?George: Gosh, yes, I, I suppose I’m the only one of the Trinity Tiddlers still alive. )Edmund: No — we wouldn’t want to exhaust you.Baldrick: Well, if I’ve got it, you’ve got it too, now, sir.Edmund: Yes, very bad luck. Go send a runner to tell General Melchett that your captain has gone insane and must return to England at once.George: Oh, no, sir, absolutely not. I can’t wait to get stuck into the Boche!Darling: (as Melchett and George return) ‘tention!George: Baldrick, I’ll be back as soon as I can.Baldrick: Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.
This is, as they say, it.Edmund: Don’t forget your stick, Lieutenant.Edmund: My point exactly, George.Edmund: Yes, that’s right.