When I was experiencing a medical crisis earlier this year, I downplayed the severity of the issue to my long-distance boyfriend. Do you not feel wanted, needed, valued, or as if you’re the only one? If you start pushing down parts of yourself in order to hold on to the relationship, you might begin to feel less like yourself. Or, when you take the plunge and move in together, they insist on keeping all their old furniture.Take a step back and ask yourself: “Am I spending more time worrying about this relationship than enjoying it?”You might be more likely to experience relationship anxiety if a past partner:In response, you might start focusing your attention on minor differences — they love punk music but you’re more of a folk-rock person — and overemphasize their importance.Still not sure if you’re dealing with relationship anxiety?Relationship anxiety often comes from within, so it may have nothing to do with your partner.Using “I” statements can be a big help during these conversations.It could become an issue, though, if you find yourself stuck in an endless pattern of questioning and self-doubt that doesn’t go anywhere productive.Even if you know your partner truly does love you and that your anxiety is coming from within, it can help to loop your partner in.Here’s a look at some potential signs of relationship anxiety:A good relationship can make you feel loved, secure, and happy. Is the relationship lacking an emotionally intimate connection? It’s also a great way to learn how to cope with the effects of relationship anxiety.No relationship is certain, and that can be tough to accept.Keep in mind that having an insecure attachment style doesn’t mean you’re doomed to always experience relationship anxiety.In other words, feeling disappointed in yourself can make it easier for you to believe that your partner feels the same way about you.People with higher levels of self-esteem, on the other hand, tended to affirm themselves through their relationship when they experienced self-doubt.Examples of things that might sabotage a relationship include:If you tend to ask yourself a lot of questions about your choices, even after you’ve made them, you’ll likely spend some time questioning your relationship, too. This isn’t always a problem.
“But no matter how it presents, the underlying reasons generally reflect a longing for connection.”But if something specific is fueling your anxiety — whether it’s playing with their phone when you talk or not wanting to visit your family for the holidays — try bringing it up in a respective and non-accusatory way.This often happens naturally as you and your partner become a couple. Individuals with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are known to experience impairment in various aspects of their lives, including relationships with relatives, friends, and partners.If you live with GAD, you may be prone to marital distress and be at greater risk of divorce. “Additionally, no problem should be without a solution. But sending several texts in an hour asking your partner where they are and what they’re doing, when you know they’re hanging out with friends, can lead to conflict.These tips can help you get the ball rolling:Maybe they don’t like to hold hands. Maybe you need reassurance, maybe you need them to be less secretive about who they’re texting. We had a three-hour time difference, busy lives, and demanding careers, so the odds were stacked against us. Fleeting moments of doubt about your relationship or wavering levels of attraction to your partner are very ordinary experiences.Doubts focused around the relationship—worrying if you’re truly in love, if your partner is in love, and if this is the “right” relationship—point to relationship-centered symptoms, Nicholson says. Now that you know what relationship anxiety is, let’s gather an understanding of where it came from.